as the sickness has turned worse, when you wish you could,
now you really wish that you knew what was going on; but the
T.V. has been snowy since yesterday afternoon, no channels
coming in. If it could be worse, you have heard shooting,
yelling and screaming, and, your cell phone is not ringing
through to your sister. You think; "of all times for her to
decide to not have her cell on, this isn't one of them."
You realize your mad state isn't going to turn her phone
on, and you actually consider going next door to find out
what is happening, if Mrs. Dawes would say anything to you,
she hasn't spoken to you in months. But as the thought about
her enters your head, your body wants to do something else
worse, and you tear for the bathroom at top speed as you
have been all day. You feel stupid praying while your doing
what your doing, but it seems to help. Fear has started to
get hold of you, in many ways, prayer is about all you can
think of to do. Somehow that gives you comfort because you
realize as you flicked the light switch, nothing had happened,
and now, you can see, it is getting dark. As the pain gets
a bit better, you get ready to wipe; and you realize it's
quiet- almost, too quiet, it's scary quiet; and you know,
from somewhere deep inside; "this is it." You don't know
why you tell yourself that, or why you wish you would've
been kinder to your kids, kinder to their mom, and you feel
the list of guilt getting away with you as you begin to
understand only slightly, how serious where you are is.
Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God,
whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
"drd's" Blog
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